fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
