He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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