This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
