I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Randomize
