I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I have feelings that need drinking.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
