try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Randomize
