we have officially lost it.
I just threw up on my dentist
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
