he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
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the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
false alarm, still single
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