the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
