Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Randomize
