Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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