Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You're like the curious george of whores
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
