yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
