lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize