Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 607 share tweet
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize