My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
