White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
