So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
