I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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