dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
