so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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