; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
FUCK WHALES
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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