I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
