Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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