Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
