So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
