We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize