doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
