im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
