I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
