I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
