"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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