I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
