I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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