i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
