is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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