I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
