P.S. I can't hear my feet
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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