She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
