Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
ttyl tear gas
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
