I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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