Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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