We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
