Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize