i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
