ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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