I'm so fucking centered right now
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
