i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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