I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
