I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Best friends brother. Beat that.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
