I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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