my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
