Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
