awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
