I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
