a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just had sex on a roof
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
