At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Randomize
