I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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