i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
