He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
